We had carefully considered so many things, determined to get this decision as right as we could. Carefully, and knowing the decision we might be landing on wouldn’t make sense to some and may even look foolish to others.
We made lists, did research, met with people, sent emails and left voicemails, just trying to make the best decision possible regarding the big move that was approaching our family like a bullet train. And as I felt like I was approaching a maze of tracks with no map, I began asking God daily to help me remember to seek His direction. I knew how easy it had been for me in the past to take such great ownership of this task-oriented “planning” process that, in looking back, I’m not sure God’s directions were any more than a small wedge worth on the cheese board (we just left Wisconsin:).
It terrified me to think of going through this situation and time, looking back and not knowing exact moments where I asked Him in. A scripture that continued to speak to me in my study was Matthew 6:33, “But seek FIRST his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” So I aimed to seek out what God would have me to focus on, what He would consider right, because I knew I wanted “all these things” to be given to us. As C.S. Lewis said in Letters of C.S. Lewis, “When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.” So I hoped.
Then “divinely placed” signs began to occur. The fork on our train track began to shift one direction to one certain place. The thought of not considering these signs as beacons seemed like a 6th grade me missing the viewing of Halley’s Comet – how could I miss that! So believing, but not fully knowing what waited on the other end, we went.
Going not knowing. But hoping.
And we arrived to circumstances that left us questioning.
Did you ever believe you were truly following God’s desires for your life or family, even believing you received tangible or visible signs from Him, only to arrive to something that was less than what you hoped for? Maybe you even “stepped out in faith” for the first time you remember only to find yourself confused.
I’d like to share with you what God has been revealing to me and reminding me of:
- Our timing is definitely not God’s timing. If we could pick our own, we would choose quick easy journeys with less energy, trouble and embarrassment. Okay, normal people don’t say “Yes, give me more hardship and suffering and for a longer time so I can grow more,” but some of the most incredible inspirational lives in our history have been the poster-kids for long-suffering that leads to victory. Abraham Lincoln had 14 major life or political defeats over the course of 28 years before being elected president. It took Joseph in the Bible (Genesis 37-50) 13 years to get from a pit in the wilderness to prominence in Egypt.
There are never ending examples out there – do we want to be on the list? Feeling temporarily defeated isn’t a sign of ultimate failure, though Satan wants us to believe that it is. And it doesn’t mean that God hasn’t been orchestrating with you in big ways during the process.
- When stuff isn’t happening in the way or timing we expected and we give way to frustration or anger, we’re acting as if we don’t have help. If we are Christians who truly want our behavior to reveal Christ, we need to remember we do have help (even when it doesn’t manifest as something we can see right now)!
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
This help can come through the peace we receive during prayer or scripture reading (even when we don’t feel like reading it), or through people God wants to use to reach out to us. So we should be careful not to isolate ourselves at a daily pity-party separate from people who can help refill our hope tanks – this is a lesson I speak to myself. And speaking of hope…
- How do we keep hope when we’re not seeing what we’re hoping for?
- Something I’ve learned over the years (and God continues to remind me of) is our journeys each look different, and it’s not all about me!. My journey looks different from my husband’s, whose looks different from my son’s, whose looks different from my daughter’s, and the neighbor down the street may appear to be having an incredible journey, but it’s her journey, not mine – and it’s between her and God.
God can do amazing work in each of our lives, and since each of us is a unique creation, we’re each going to wear it differently and in different timing. (And some might do a better job if others would step out of God’s way a little – am I the only one who might accidentally interfere?)
2. When we push through adversity, we become braver, stronger and wiser! Wisdom is both a gift from God and a process of learning – and this “wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul,” Proverbs 2:10. A pleasant soul has hope.
3. It always helps to remember those miracle moments where God spoke your language to say “Hey, I am in this with you.” Little or big things that the world might have us write off as coincidence. Let’s not forget these things, and let’s watch for more. This is the stuff our hope can stand on – real moments where God chooses to reveal himself to people like us in ways He knows will capture our attention.
A friend of mine displayed a sign in her yard recently when something amazing happened in her family after a long period of wait. The sign says “Hope Wins.” Seeing that put a cozy weighted blanket on my soul. I’m going to make my own in preparation to hang it one day, one day soon. Even if I hang it as I declaration that my home will be a home of hope, both for what we wait for and for what God has in store or us that we didn’t even know to ask for.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13
Written for Compel Challenge 2021
