Today marks the fifth anniversary of my husband and me attending FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember marriage retreat in Appleton, WI. To honor what God did to reach us and how He spoke to us in deeply impactful ways, I’m sharing our WTR story with you now…a little overdue.

First, I need to be honest. This is not all warm and fuzzy. We were in such dire need of deeper communication and time away when we arrived that we may have been the only couple in that huge conference center that couldn’t carry out one of the most important couples assignments in the first half of the conference (not kidding). I remember looking around at the other couples doing the assignment and thinking, “How could we have let it get to this point?” We were advocates and promoters of strong marriage in our circles and had been married 21 years, yet there we were.

Second, I’m struggling to put these words together because I want to do justice to what God did for us. The conference was already going to be tremendous just as it was. It’s wonderfully done and changes countless lives regularly, but there was stuff that happened, crazy God orchestrated stuff, that left us speechless. Stuff that said, “I’m here, I see you, and your marriage matters THIS much to me.” We couldn’t help but pay attention.

So how did God grab hold of us at WTR in Appleton, WI?

1. The main husband and wife leader team of the conference, Joel and Cindy, began mingling with us soon after we arrived. There was no clear reason for them to do this, since they probably should have been near the stage with the other leaders and there were 550 other people in the room. When they told us where they were from, jaw-drop number one. Joel was raised near Memphis, TN, just minutes from where my husband was raised. Cindy was from a tiny TN town where my mom spent much of her childhood – when Cindy mentioned Roper Drug store where her parents got engaged, I knew that I was the only person in that massive space that shared knowledge of that drug store with her. Our feet were planted in Appleton, WI, but it wasn’t too much for God to bring our roots from 700 miles away right there to us.
2. The couples assignment in the first half of the conference I mentioned earlier…the one we couldn’t do- it was writing a letter to each other. Neither of us can tell you five years later what the letter was supposed to say or what happened that day that kept us from being able to write it, but we can tell you that not being able to write it forced us to go to our room and face the reasons why we couldn’t. And it wasn’t pretty. I shut myself in the bathroom for a while so I could melt down while my husband was probably thinking, “What now?” God knew we didn’t need to write letters that day. He knew we needed to be “stuck” in our room, forced to speak face to face about neglected issues. And God knew that both of us would be too stubborn to not work through them, since we had paid good money out of our Dave Ramsey budget to be there. So that’s what we did.
3. There was only one song I had ever heard on Christian radio that caused me to both think of my husband and cry. That song was “Lead Me” by Sanctus Real. Now, I would have never even thought to come up with the prayer, “Dear Lord, when we go to WTR will you please have the writer and singer of the song “Lead Me” not only lead the conference but also sing the song LIVE to us as we speak renewal vows to each other.” I couldn’t have come up with that, not ever. But that’s exactly what God did, and the singer told us he almost backed out because his wife couldn’t come with him. Have you ever had a time when you felt God was singing straight to you and your husband? I did.
4. We returned home Sunday with renewed encouragement for our marriage, in a stronger, healthier place. As if that wasn’t enough, God called me on my phone. Well, it was the local Christian radio station, but close enough. They told me we had won the Valentine’s Date Night Giveaway that I didn’t even remember entering. Amazed again. It was just that kind of weekend 🙂

I haven’t previously shared much about our marriage struggles (it’s easy to hold this stuff close) and only shared generally about our Weekend to Remember experience before, but I wanted to step out today and share specifically what God did for us so you might be encouraged in your time of struggle and have renewed hope as you continue your pursuit of God’s best for your marriage.

I want you to know God loves you, God sees you, and He cares for you and your marriage so deeply that He might send big or little miracles your way just to show you that. He can take your less-than relationship and bring healing and growth in ways you CAN’T DO ALONE. He did that for us at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember.