I winced as I watched my son’s cleats sneak off the bag edging toward second base. I knew the third bandage in as many days was about to be scraped off the raw sliding wound again. My outer thigh practically burned as I imagined it.
His default urge to attempt the steal would override his awareness of the scalded, bloody, not-gonna-heal mark on his leg. Only the coach could stop that. The slide was going to look pretty good, he would probably be safe, but the sticky burn would be dominant again – an annoyance until it was allowed to heal.
But how was that stubborn wound ever going to heal?
Can you think with me about any unproductive emotional or mental defaults you resort to in dealing with hard people or circumstances so you can temporarily move past the issue and get back to life?
The short-term peace may feel like a reward in the moment, but it will never allow for long-term resolve.
There’s been so much emphasis on mental health issues in recent months, and rightfully so, but I think many of us could have written a list of our recurring unhealthy defenses long before Covid confined us.
Let’s ask ourselves why these default patterns exist that may be robbing our mind’s ability to move passed junk to a place of healing, so we don’t have to keep covering up “wounds.” Here are three reasons that relate to our emotional health for us to contemplate:
1. We’re often not willing to put in the work of reframing our thinking and changing our behavior, because living with the annoyance of unresolved pain becomes our comfort zone.
Breaking out of the comfort zone is hard.
2. We find it easier with our over-functioning schedules and minds to conceal past hurts and push through life as-is rather than to stop, evaluate and ask ourselves questions like, “Why did that hurt my feelings just now?,” “Why do I seem to be holding on to resentment?,” “Why do I feel angry when these buttons are pushed?”
Stopping to process and go deep is hard.
3. We don’t let ourselves realize how freeing it would be to just feel healed – because maybe we’ve never allowed ourselves to truly experience the forgiveness God offers us once we’ve accepted Jesus as savior. We hold on to the old when we need to let go – and truly place it at the feet of Jesus.
Letting go and giving it over is hard.
…and to take this a big step further, is there anyone you’ve been struggling to forgive? This may be your biggest healing hold-up, since unforgiveness becomes a barrier to our communication with God and blocks healing from past hurts! I am personally committing extra prayer and thought time to this one.
As Pastor Chuck Swindoll reminds us, “It’s important to understand that we can never forgive others, horizontally, if not for what Christ has already done for us, vertically. Not until we fully accept God’s complete forgiveness on our behalf can we carry out the tough assignment of forgiving others.” So the ONLY way for us to have the capacity to forgive others is to let it sink in that God COMPLETELY forgives us. Completely.
Are you familiar with Psalm 103:10-12?
“He does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”
Our minds may know this, but our emotions need to catch up – because we’ve got a lot of forgiving to do, of ourselves and others. Enough “sliding.” Let’s do the work of breaking out of our comfort zones, processing deeper, and letting go of the old things that hold us back so we can fully accept God’s complete forgiveness – and in turn, forgive others.
To listen to the inspiring story of healing through forgiveness from author and speaker Sharon Jaynes in her interview with Susie Larson, click HERE. It’s a little long at 50 minutes – I listened over an extended walk. IT WAS WORTH IT!
