I knew it was bad when I woke up on a Tuesday feeling like it should be Friday. The events of the previous four days (or maybe four months!) had left me feeling like the dead clothes dryer I just took my wet clothes out of, with little steam left to finish the job. As the emotional rollercoaster had continued it’s unpredictable pattern of shock and shake with only short stretches of still, I decided to get off.

So I put my face in the carpet…and right where my sneaky wiener dog had marked his spot. Officially humbled.

If you’ve never been there, feeling like there’s nothing left but to have conversation with God flat on the ground, then maybe you’ve never been worn to the core confused at the same time you realize you can do nothing more on your own to make some big difficult things go your way. Life altering things.

It’s when we get to this place that God is taking His indestructible chisel to the ornate stones we’ve been stacking up on that pretty sweet wall of pride. That wall that keeps judging onlookers from seeing what’s messy. The same wall that, in oxymoronic fashion, keeps grace out and opposition in (James 4: 6).

Where there is battle there is no peace.

I could list out all my battle-worthy hardships for you to compare against your own worst list, but that’s not what this is about. We’ve all got battles, some God has placed us in and some we’ve brought on ourselves. What I believe God wants from us in all these situations is to ask, “God, what would you have me do now? What can I do NOW to help this situation that is in sync WITH YOU?” And if exhaustion has set in, just take a moment to be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46: 10), which can be done face in the questionably clean carpet. While you’re there, remember this most comforting verse: “Likewise, the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” Romans 8: 26

Even as I’m at a loss He is not, and He’ll show me the gain in time.

So what CAN I do now?…(spoiler, there’s going to be some grace coming in)

(based on writing from author Crystal Evans Hurst on “how to live life well, even when you think it’s too hard”)

• I know, gratitude, gratitude – it may seem like an overused remedy these days. Coming from both Christian and secular realms, we hear so much about how important gratitude is to re-wiring our brains toward all that is positive. Though I didn’t try on purpose, I haven’t been able to find any way around this. It’s true, even if it sounds fluffy. When I can stop clinching a fist around my sulk and can allow my mind to open to simple gifts God has fixed around me, I’m actually medicating my ailing heart and preparing it for the service God has waiting for me. A chilly, unthankful heart can’t serve Him well.

Sometimes we feel so crummy, so attacked that we don’t care at that moment if we’re serving God well and can only force ourselves to start thinking about small blessings, even as small as the dog who tee-tees on your rug greeting you every morning like he hasn’t seen you in years. If I’ve ever been annoyed by someone who seemed over-the-top grateful, maybe it was because I needed to quit sulking and start listing out the sweet stuff…and funny, that list starts taking on the size of a teenage boy’s grocery list

• When you’re feeling a little life-less, it’s good to be reminded of why you’re here, if only in small portions. What vision do you have for your life – those things you would like to see happen that God wired you to do? What seeds did God plant in you a long time ago that still need to grow – and have you been so busy watering other things that those seeds haven’t even sprouted yet? Write some things down, even if they are vague! (teaching your kids a skill, serving in a local ministry, having a weekly family devotional night, training for a local race) Something happens when we pay attention to those God-inspired seeds that just need watering.

As Crystal Hurst shares, “The key is to not let the difficulties of life or the details you don’t know distract you from doing what you can with what you have right now to move forward.” Remember, Satan doesn’t want you to to realize your vision. He wants you discouraged and defeated. He wants your life to pass you by while you’re still holding a cold cup of coffee in your pajamas. God wants you to warm your coffee and get dressed.

• Being anxious and overwhelmed steals our focus, and we need this focus to move in the right direction when we’re being challenged. When I think of the times I was least present with my family or the most mentally absent from what was occurring around me, I know it was caused by mind-clouding anxiety and it being allowed to stay relevant. Not to say I wasn’t experiencing circumstances that would have caused many people to be anxious and distracted, but it was how I continued to allow it to reduce the joy that was right there in front of me. If the older me could go back and have a one-on-one with the younger me…

So how can we reduce feeling frozen and swallowed so our focus can rise? Rather than listing out popular researched ways (though taking deep breaths sure does help!), I’d like to keep this simple with a go-to familiar scripture that I finally realized was way more than a really nice verse when it helped me take a load off. Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (and there’s gratitude again) Something happens when I call on God while also giving Him thanks for some clearly good stuff. It just brings my blood pressure down. And it doesn’t hurt to take a run in my neighborhood, bake some goodies or read a good book, since fresh air and enjoyable hobbies are therapy for any tired mind.

• Community is the hardest one for me and for many of us. An introvert by nature (though I do have some extrovert tendencies), I enjoy time alone and refuel this way. Problem is, and the Covid-factor definitely hasn’t helped, I tend to isolate myself from others when I’m struggling rather than reaching out. To make it all worse (pity-party!), I’m an Enneagram 1! If you don’t know what that is, it is the “perfectionist,” so it’s even harder for me to reach out and share my junk.

So….since I know it’s absolutely true that we need support from friends and loved ones when we’re working through tough stuff, I have been challenging myself in this area. My first goal was to make intentional strides in having deeper more meaningful conversations, first, within my own walls. So, yes, I’ve been making my husband and kids a bit more uncomfortable than usual by delving a little deeper with my spoken words. Then I challenged myself to establish deeper connections with a couple of local ladies God brought into my life, as well as to join a new group at my church so I could start building new community. Again, the Covid-factor has slowed this, but I’m committed to pushing forward – because Satan wants me to isolate myself, and I’m saying, “No!”

With our efforts placed on gratitude, vision, focus and community, even in small doses, even when our hearts aren’t fully there yet, we can move from stagnant and struggling, to productive and positive and be healthier examples for our families.

Spiritual and Emotional Health Check – 6 Essentials CLICK HERE for sharable graphic